That birth story I never got around to writing.

I took time off from blogging, but realized I never actually typed out Cecilia Grace’s Birth Story- I don’t want to forget it so I’m going to get it down in writing right now.

The night before I was set to be induced, May 16th, 2013 a Thursday I remember getting into the bath to relax before my family came over to have one last night before all the chaos. I think we ordered pizza that night and Colby’s mom and dad, brother and our sister-in-law, and my sister came over to spend the evening with us. My sister was staying the night so she could keep Emery while we went to the hospital.

I remember being very still lying in the dark in the bath preparing myself mentally for what my body was about to go through the next day. I heard my in-laws come in the door and decided I had better get myself out of the bath and visit with my family and get some good rest before having to be at the hospital at 5 in the morning. That evening my sister rubbed my feet hoping to put me into labor on my own and not have to use an pitocin.

I went to bed that night and set my alarm for 4:00 a.m. so I could straighten my hair in the morning. I didn’t sleep well at all that night, I believe there were tears about whether Emery would understand the events getting ready to happen, and when the alarm went off at 4 I was up and getting things ready when I got a phone call. I didn’t know the number, but answered anyways and it was the hospital saying that they didn’t have any rooms available so since I was supposed to be induced they told me not to come in unless I was in active labor.

I freaked out.

I told Colby and he did what any other man would do in this situation and went right back to bed, very easily actually. I, on the other hand, woke up my sister and told her then got back in pajamas and tried my hardest to go back to bed because the hospital said to call back at 7:00 in the morning to see if they could fit me in. Soon after I laid back down I felt contractions small at first, but building until I felt the need to get up and walk through them. I woke up Colby and my sister and told them I needed to call now because I was actually in labor at this point I had made it to about 6:30 a.m.

I called the hospital and told them that this was my second baby and the first baby came fairly quickly and wasn’t the second usually quicker? They told me to come in and that if I had dilated to a 5 that I could stay because they had 1 room. ONE. We jumped in the car and I called my mother-in-law and told her we were on the way to the hospital and that I had spontaneously gone into labor on my own. I had to pause the conversation every time I had a contraction so she said they were on the way to the hospital (they beat us there) We had to stop at a gas station because I told Colby I needed gum.

While going into the hospital I had to stop a couple of times to breathe through the contractions and when we made it to the 5th floor we had to sit in the waiting room while they got a room ready for me. My father-in-law timed contractions on his phone while we sat in the waiting room. Luckily for me I didn’t vomit with every contraction like I did with Emery. Although this labor already was giving me a run for my money. When they finally had the room ready they called me back and had me change into a gown so they could see how far I had dilated I was a 5-6! Hurray, they kept me and gave me the option of breaking my water and having me walk OR I could get they epidural right then and stay in bed. (shitty options) I chose to have my water broken and walk the halls. Dear. God.

At that point my parents had arrived and my mom and Mother in law were walking the hallways with me (I can’t remember where Colby went, back to the car maybe?) In that small time he was gone though I was in SEVERE pain. I had never experienced anything like it with Emery I thought my insides were being pulled apart. I was sobbing with every contraction and needed something “RIGHT NOW” I made it back in my room with Colby and my sister arriving and my sweet nurse, Susanna telling me the anesthesiologist was in the next room and he’d come in as soon as he was finished.

Kill me.

She had me lay back on the bed so she could check to see how far I was and I was now close to a 7. The anesthesiologist was now at the bedside and had my lie on my side to put in the epidural, an interesting approach, but I didn’t care. He finished and I had a couple more painful contractions before I was able to have relief- then they came to put in the catheter. I told them I thought I could still walk to the bathroom and they assured me I could not- the catheter made me feel like I had to pee worse than before it was put in- somewhere after this my dad came in to visit and we filmed him saying, “Hi” to the baby and he couldn’t wait to hold her and then he switched places with my sister. She hadn’t been in the room 10 minutes when I started feeling major pressure and major contractions again. The nurse, who checked me and I was a 7 just 15 minutes ago told me she’d be back in an hour to check me again, rushed back into the room to check and sure enough in a span of 15 minutes I’d gone from a 7 to a 10.

Awesome, but…

Because I had dilated so quickly the baby hadn’t had time to turn in the birth canal and was facing sunny side up. People, the pain. I have never experienced anything like it. The doctor came in and said she would need to have time to hopefully flip before we could start pushing and had me lay on my right side with my left leg up in a stirrup. I felt like I was there for hours, the pain was absolutely unbearable and the urge to push was tremendous. The nurse kept telling me not to push, but I could not help it. I felt like I was going to poop and heaven forbid I do that in front of my husband- the nurse kept telling me there was nothing in there, but I kept telling Colby to stand in the bathroom so I could have a “minute”. Mind you, all of this was very frantic.

Me: “Go in the bathroom for a minute.”

Colby: “Are you serious?!”

Me: “Yes! I’m not pooping in front of you!”

Nurse 1:  “When I checked to see how far you were dilated I didn’t feel any poop.”

Nurse 2: “Honey, if you have to go just do it. We see it all the time.”

Me: (Whimpering/Crying/Trying to feel down there to see what was going on)

Colby: “Can I come back out?”

Eventually I just started pushing and told the nurse I couldn’t take it anymore. She went back to get the doctor and now we’re pushing.

I pushed a few times and the doctor asked if I wanted her to give me an episiotomy because if she did Cecilia would be here in the next push. I told her no. I pushed one or two more times and finally said, “Just do it!”

Our entire family has gathered outside our door at this point waiting to hear her cry, but instead listened to me cry for awhile.

Finally after getting the episiotomy Cecilia arrived at 2:41 in the afternoon weighing 7lbs 6.5 ounces and 19 inches long. She looked so small that before the doctor put her on the scale she said any guesses? I guessed 6lbs and so did everyone else. As soon as she was born Colby yelled she’s still a girl! We cried, the nurses cried. That gum that I had Colby get me at the gas station, I spit that out in his hand.

It was an amazing experience and even though it was a very painful labor and was pretty fast and furious I would do it again and again to be able to have our sweet little Cecilia.ccc

Continue Reading

Melt Down

Yesterday I had a meltdown, I started the day off with my two nieces and son and by the time 5:00 rolled around I was absolutely exhausted. Hats off to all the mothers that stay home with more than one kiddo at a time, I don’t know how you do it.

I realize that all babies are different and Emery Jack is an amazing little boy, I just never realized how truly hard this is. By the time I picked Colby up from work yesterday evening and started back home Emery was SCREAMING in the backseat and I was trying to work on counting to 10 and taking deep breaths, while I was asking Colby how his day was, and what he got accomplished. All I could think of was I didn’t pull any hair out today and so far I haven’t cried.
Once home I realized we had nothing planned for dinner and everything was frozen… That’s when the waterworks started, I tried keeping it pulled together, but sometimes there needs to be a release valve. Colby suggested I go to wal-mart and get something and he would stay with Emery so I could have a “breather”.
Once in the parking lot of Wal-mart I went into a full blown ugly cry. We all have one. I had to sit in the car until I could compose myself enough to walk in to get what I needed and at one point I noticed a little kid starting at me and talking to her younger sister.

OK, I KNOW it looks like I’ve been crying, but I assure you I was attacked by a swarm of bees in the parking lot, don’t go out there, it’s ugly!

Every day gets better it really really does, but sometimes I need the 10 minutes to cry in a parking lot, even if I do get stares from 7 year olds.
Once home I made dinner, rolled around on the floor with Emery Jack….I can’t stay away for very long, I absolutely love the two men in my life.
Continue Reading